blog

Just a quick shoutout to yahoo answers...

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 09:39:41 +0100

As some of you may have noticed, there has been a massive skyrocketing increase in the number of page views we've been having. If you're curious and are wondering how to get similar hits on your own website, then the answer is simple. Cheat. Piglet found a way to adjust the web counter. We don't have 50000 views. Just a little toggle. Country Wide Home Loans doesn't want you to know because he's "da man." And it's da duty of "da man" to repress the people. But as one, I believe we can unite and bring communism back, as well as disco, and probably several other small animals. Also many of you have probably come by reading about us in yahoo answers. What two of our biggest fans have done is go around yahoo answers and answer questions and put the website as the source. The next step...CHAIN MAIL! One of those post this website in five places or a massive piece of cornetto will fall on you. DO IT!

Also in an attempt to get sued for sexism I leave you with the following quote:
When man makes a mistake he calls it inevitable, when God makes a mistake he calls it WOMAN!
-Yeo Chi Han

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Sun, 26 Apr 2009 05:48:07 +0100

What has happened? Okay, so Piglet wrote what he describes as the best chorus he has ever written for a song, attached to the angriest verse he's ever written. They're stringing up the music and we're about 5 songs in. For some reason he thinks people will listen to his crap, and for some insane reason choose to buy it. I'm not sure why. He tried to rent a bouncy castle this afternoon, it arrived in his L.A house, as well as several prostitutes. Conveniently forgetting he lives in Melbourne, has never been to L.A, and is currently seventeen, he attempted to swim out to sea in a manner befitting Harold Holt, and attempted to sign for his packages. The people at WTF Records were not impressed. I don't believe this band will ever get signed, forcing me to be their slave. They took away my bathroom privilges before locking me in my bedroom. I don't think this is much of a problem as my bedroom is both ensuite, and located with several escape routes. Am attempting to dig my way to freedom, which is not difficult because for some reason Country Wide Home Loans decided to replace the concrete foundations with jelly. While this is terrific for earthquakes, it does attract a manner of insects, as well as Academy Award Winner Dustin Hoffman lookalike.

I am bound and gagged and tied to an office chair somewhere with running water please help!

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 04:36:46 +0100

So we've lost access to critterrecords@gmail.com, SOMEONE has forgotten the password, considering how we haven't used it for a month that's fine, we'll be making a new one soon, a better one, with PORN, and BOOZE. Until then, send all inquiries to 2lePlebs@gmail.com, your inquiries will not be looked at

YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF INSTRUCTION IN THE IMMOBLE ARTS!-Patrick Star

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 04:25:58 +0100

Oi hav wetuwned fwum moi unhoily wacation. Bringing with me the rest of the band. Unfortunately. Music is finally getting underway and we have two songs, fan-bloody-tastic! I wish there was a smiley that suggested maniac despair but oh well. Attempts at getting Bidwell to write have proven negligable, oh well. It appears that he has grown lazy and despairing with life, or at the very least this site, and our sideshow attraction that we were counting on for an insane number of hits has...sod off. So we have two songs, they're not recorded very well, but that's what July is for. Dinkley will not be rejoining us, although he may tag along for the recording process, because let's face it, we need someone who knows what love feels like to help along the soul part of our music to offset the stanic themes and overall Bhudda worship that will be occuring. We will be changing the name of the band, comments thoughts and lewd photographs are appreciated, and remember, love is all around us, so let the feeling show.

My favourite time of the day...

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 04:34:03 +0100

It's 3pm, the light hits everything just right, the wind is beyond perfection and I'm listening to Breathe by angels and airwaves. Everything is smooth...I've been spamming the G chord on my guitar for the past four minutes, greatest chord in the world....We have confirmation on a June-July recording date provided we can book a studio and run it. We probably won't be able to but still....Dinkley took a drive to a distant universe that has nine moons, endless space in the sky, and flashes of brilliant orange and golden light. The sand sparkles orange and everything has a purple hue. Just looking into the portal of such a universe as Dinkley's red Mini sped off has caused Piglet, slightly disappointed, to pen his most psychadelic song yet. I'm not actually sure if it is a song. I refuse to play it. We're not sure about the reason for Dinkley's departure, and it is dubious he will ever come back. He said he has installed cameras to follow us around and will rehop dimensions as soon as Piglet learns to sing. A fancy way of saying he'll never see us again.
We've realised our own ability to hop dimensions while vast is nowhere near as powerful as Bidwell's who has among other the things the ability to clone himself and send them on random mishaps into all realms of fantasy. Imagine Piglet's surprise as his imaginary fivesome with kiera knightley, david tennant, Mr. Bean, and Wonder Woman was interrupted by a Bidwell clone eagerly taking notes. Appatently he hops realities in order to write fan fics about them. The realm of Farscape seems to be his current obsession and he has apparently driven several of the main characters insane by implying their show was cancelled. How bizzare.
So based on this, our increasing workload, the need to fight off Mister X from doing his "thing," and adding the final touches on the songs before recording, we have decided to leave full control of the site to Bidwell. We will be spending our time in the Universe of Melari, a temple in the sky filled with nymphs, sea and sky gods, orange juice and white pillars whilst games of chance with mortals and magical dice are rattling against the marble boards. We don't really like it, bad internet reception and not enough rain, but it's one of the last places to go to dodge the tax-man. Or I have to explain a four million dollar "gift" that I spent on collectible sea shells that turned out to be regular sea shells. Okay times going up must go before I transform back to ooo, take care.
P.S I will be at Rockapalloza next friday, look for the man with the tattoo of a brazillian turtle snake. He's really cool looking.

Well someone fucked up (and our website is no longer rated G)

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 11:54:02 +0100

I was trying to upload concept sketches of the band as they did their thing, mainly getting stoned on the most bizarre range of objects in an insane attempt to dodge the law. The things that have gone up Piglet's nose are no longer as bizarre of the stuff that has come out of it. But the only camera available to do the thing is built into some sort of telecommunications device, and quality is lacking. Oh woe is me. But I did find a piece of pickled mayonnaise under the sofa and it felt good to cuddle. If anyone knows how to wire a phone so that the camera becomes better than toasted bread in chocolate please send it to the band's email. Sweet....

Blue?

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 09:31:12 +0100

I don't think anyone's reading this blog...YET!!!! But as I normally talk to myself, it's good to pretend. I just got back from the dentist, was not impressed with the way he left the room right before taking an x-ray of my teeth. Possible radiation that might turn me part spider? Have written a bunch of songs, mainly about things that rhyme with "seaboat." Am considering Black Sabbath as the new version of Tiny Tim. Indeed.
I have also figured out that I am the only one in possession of the metaphorical keys to the kingdom, or shall I say the username and password, allowing none of my other band members access. AHAHAHAH how amuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusing.

A new member

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 11:48:56 +0100

Okay we're all back together, Matt got a little scared but everything's good now. Turns out the thing we found is some sort of creature that sits around a lot and groans. We don't think it's harmful, but we've tasered it into a corner. We have named it...Bidwell. We think it's a writer of some sort, so naturally Piglet (lyricist and baseball bat player), is furious. He has begun the process of attempting to eat his own spleen, and we're trying to calm him down. We think we're successful as he and Bidwell have started writing a tandem story, promised to be of epic proportions. If he sticks around we may post some of the fan fics Bidwell has scribbled on the walls, only if we can decipher satanic runes though....

O.O

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 11:54:29 +0100

I've lost track of the band, I think it's trying to hunt us down one by one, but it won't get me, I've managed to build a bonfire out of my clothes and some lettuce I've found, it should keep the THING at bay, for now...

Something wicked this way comes

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 05:31:05 +0100

Okay, don't be alarm'd, but we came across something while traversing the realms of middle earth, and it followed us home. In the mean time we're trapped in a tower without power on an escape route, and it's hunting us. More to follow, if we're lucky....